0l-104-08 Mind Set

How do you think you would do in that culture?

How do you think a person who was raised in that culture would respond to being dropped in the culture in Seattle, San Francisco, LA, or New York of today?

How do you think you would do with a partner raised in that culture?

This has an extremely large impact on our sexual mind set. Further it has an impact on how we mix with people of different cultural back grounds.

Mind Set

There is a lot of discussion today about the concept of permission or consent in regards to sex. This concept is to give your partner(s) verbal permission to have sex before a session begins. For those who have been raised in particularly oppressive cultural environments (or have had bad early sexual experiences), we need to take this concept one step further – you need to give yourself permission to have sex and enjoy it.

To help maintain focus, prepare your play space to remove distractions. Work with your partner(s) to clear your play space of distractions, if one person enjoys an item, but it is a distraction to others you should consider removing it. Even porn can be a distraction if it keeps you from being able to focus.

The next big concept is to be present in the moment. What does that mean? Work to clear your mind of all thoughts not related to the task at hand. Allow yourself to focus on the thing that you want to do. Where this is an important concept for anything in life, it is doubly important when it comes to sex. Put the stresses of the day a side, so you can focus on the pleasures to be shared.

One of the biggest stressors most people have going into sex is performance anxiety – not being able to do what is needed to share the pleasure in the moment. There are a number of techniques to get around these kind of stresses. One of the best techniques is to discuss it with your partner(s). Let them help you with it.

Another technique is to imagine yourself doing the act that is stressing you. In your mental image, see yourself doing it so well that all involved are deep in pleasure from it. You might be surprised to find that you mental image becomes the reality.

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